Domestic Violence: When to seek help or simply walk away

Cases of domestic violence are on the rise in many parts of the world. Recently, multiple domestic discords have resulted in fatalities that left young and innocent children vulnerable, with some having to live with the trauma from what they see their parents going through.

The Kenyan community in the diaspora has had to deal with several cases of fatalities as a result of domestic violence. It is always distressing when families and communities suffer the loss of loved ones from causes that could be prevented by dialogue or simply walking away.

You may need to seek expert’s help if:

1. You are still waiting for him/her to change

  • People who promise they will change for you, but never do, are people you should be leery of committing long-term to. Do not believe that because they are in a relationship with you, they will change to become the person you have built up in your mind. They cannot read your mind and they cannot be your perfect person.

2. There is abuse

  • No form of abuse (physical, mental, emotional) is tolerable in a relationship. If you are experiencing any form of abuse, seek help and support from loved ones and experts and leave the relationship before the abuse causes irreparable damage.

3.  Addressed issues remain unchanged

  • When you have addressed issues that consistently reoccur, that is a clear sign that repairing your relationships is not a priority. If no changes occur, it may be time to cut chords and walk away. Avoid experiencing the same situation, same fight, same hurtful emotions and same outcome by trying to taking matters into your own hands.

4. There is no respect

  • Respect should be a given in any relationship. If you don’t feel respected in your relationship, it’s time ”revisit”.

You shouldn’t have to fight for your partner to listen to what you have to say. If you feel like your feelings are getting belittled, your opinion doesn’t matter or you can’t express your thoughts, there is lack of respect in your relationship and it’s about time you addressed the issue with an expert.

5. Your gut is telling you something is off.

This one might be a no-brainer, but most people ignore it for so long until it gets too late. Your intuition practically screams at you before the worst happens!

Your relationship is in a rut but can be revived if… 

1. You can’t remember the last time you had a meaningful conversation.

2. You keep having the exact same argument over and over again.

Your relationship may soon end if…

1. You don’t respect your partner anymore. Respect is the basis of a loving relationship. Without it, there is tension and resentment.

2. When neither of you is willing to compromise or let go of ‘being right.’ So many couples can’t let go of their point of view and as a result, lose the person they love.

3. When the ratio of bad times (arguments, silent treatment) outweighs the good times (having fun, communicating intimately).

Deciding whether to stay or exit the relationship is your choice.

The most important thing to remember is: Your choice, whatever that may be, is completely valid.

Sources: Huffington Post,