Divorce in the 21st century has become a norm and, in most cases, men are blamed and the big question remains, does a woman’s action lead to divorce?
Pastor Joyce Wanjiru of Elohim Prophetic Ministry says her divorce 23 years ago could have been averted if she tuned her heart to forgive, forget and move on.
However, marriage life for the 50-year-old pastor was no walk in the park. It was punctuated by betrayal and emotional torture.
Narrating her story to YouTuber Monicah Kagoni, Pastor Wanjiru recalled an incident where she discovered that her husband was sleeping with her best friend.
Incidentally, she always confided in the lady about her husband’s randy behaviour and how he would go missing from his house for days and come back acting holy.
She said that she visited the friend’s house to talk about a few things bothering her only for her child to tell that her husband spends night at their home.
“I found the kid because the mum was at work. The kid ran after me and said ‘auntie kwa nini hukujangi na ule Uncle wa macicio (spectacles) analalanga huku’.”
When she confronted the friend, she denied it all but her husband confessed to sleeping with the woman multiple times.
With a good heart, Pastor Wanjiru forgave him but he did not stop. He now turned his randy habits to their house help.
One day, Pastor Wanjiru recounts, she caught the husband red-handed in the middle of the night rolling in the hay with their house help.
The husband walked out of their bed as if he was going to the bathroom but took long. She woke up, looked for him everywhere in the house but could not find him.
Her shocker came after opening the house help’s bedroom door and found her husband busy in action.
“When I opened the door to the house help’s bedroom, that’s when I saw the afro cinema continuing,” she remarks with a chuckle.
Eventually she made a decision to walk out of the marriage after the husband insulted her mother badly.
Pastor Wanjiru opined that though her husband gave more than enough reasons for a divorce, she would have saved her marriage if she lowered her expectations.
She added that she allowed opinions from other people shape how to react which ended up sucking her marriage.
“There is one thing about men, don’t quarrel them even when they are on the wrong. Never attack a man’s ego because they protect their territory. They protect their ego so much,” she advised.